


Remember When We Were Such Fools

by TasteTheRainbow



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, M/M, SPN Cinema Genre Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 21:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8224673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TasteTheRainbow/pseuds/TasteTheRainbow
Summary: It's been nearly ten years since Jensen saw most of his college friends, but a weekend reunion at the beach is about to rectify that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on _The Big Chill_ for spn_cinema.
> 
> I figured, since this is my first fic back after a few years, I should throw in a title stolen directly from one of my favorite P!nk songs of all time, _Who Knew_ , because of course I did.

It’s warm tonight, far too warm for so early in the summer, especially this close to the water. It’s too warm, too sunny, too reminiscent of halcyon days spent baking on this sand, next to this water, more than a decade ago. This day, this Friday, is too filled with youth and vitality, feels too good to have lain an old friend to rest just a few hours ago.

The ocean air reeks of salt, alcohol, and smoke from the bonfire, the sounds of waves and laughter dancing all around Jensen while he wonders if it’s disrespectful to have fun or if this is exactly what Gil would have wanted. All of his friends gathered in one place, drunk before sundown, articles of black mourning strewn across the sand as they shed their sadness in favor of a giant party in his honor seems exactly like something the vibrant man Jensen remembers would have loved.

They’ve barely managed to choose rooms in Briana and Kim’s massive beach house, barely managed to say hello at the service or since. It’s as though it hasn’t been more than ten years since they were all in the same place. Probably, Jensen thinks, because it hasn’t been that long for most of them. 

There are a few new faces but Jensen suspects they’re only new to him. The movies he’s been in, the press he’s been obligated to do, the television series he’s now starring in, haven’t allowed him much time for heading back to Texas to see his friends and family, let alone spending summers here in Galveston like the old days. The rest of them have stayed closer to home, closer to one another.

“Penny for your thoughts, Handsome?”

Jensen smiles at Genevieve around the lip of his beer bottle, slipping an arm around the tiny lady at his side. “Not gonna make much bank that way, I’m afraid,” he teases, tugging her closer when she slips her hand around his back. “Just a vapid actor now, haven’t you heard?”

Genevieve rolls her eyes. “You’ve been a lot of things to a lot of people in your lifetime, but vapid is not one of them and we both know it.”

It’s sweet that she thinks so, has always thought so really. Jensen remembers meeting Genevieve when she was just a freshman and he was a mighty sophomore. He remembers thinking that she must have been the shyest person he had ever met, but she wasn’t, not actually. She was introspective, observant and analytical, clocking everyone and what made them tick silently so she could speak informatively when called upon to do so. It’s probably her most admirable trait, even now.

“It’s just kind of a weird night, I guess,” he admits.

She stares at him for a moment, focused eyes studying, searching, before she nods. “We could always head down to the memorial dinner at his parents’ house?” She barely pauses before giggling along with Jensen’s head shake. “He’d be really glad you came back for this, ya know?”

Jensen swallows an unexpected round of emotion, the guilt that’s been popping up at random moments since he got the call three days ago. “He deserves as much love as we can dish out, I think.”

Genevieve nods and sighs, as though she wants to say something, but stops herself short when something near the water catches her eye. She snorts a laugh and shakes her head. “She’s insane,” she says into Jensen’s shoulder.

Jensen follows her eyeline until he gaze rests on a very topless Danneel beckoning Genevieve to her with an exaggerated wiggle of her eyebrow and a hitched index finger. “So that’s really a thing, huh?” he asks.

“That’s been a thing for five years, Jensen,” Genevieve reminds him.

He got the housewarming party invite a year and a half ago, but he was in the home stretch of the second season of his series. He couldn’t make the time. He should have made the time.

“You got my gift, right?”

The flush in her cheeks tells him she definitely got it. “I hope you know we all get it, man. Life is busy and that’s okay,” she promises him, her words filled with forgiveness and understanding. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wrestle my lady back into her clothes. Which is something I never thought I would say.”

He’s still laughing when another arm settles heavily over his shoulder. “I feel like you need a hug,” Misha says before his other arm wraps around Jensen’s front.

“Yeah, but do I need it from you?” Jensen asks, sinking into Misha’s embrace before he pulls out of it just as quickly. No need for him to think Jensen wants the contact, even if he _does_ need it.

“You realize we have about thirty seconds before we have to jump in there and save one of them from certain death?” Misha points his beer bottle to the bonfire, where Misha’s former roommate, Rich, is seemingly taunting the flames with a stick while two of his friends - one Jensen has met and one he’s never seen before - egg him on in his mindless task.

“I know Matt,” Jensen says to Misha before he takes another drink, “But who’s the other guy?”

“Rob. He’s been writing with Rich for a few years now. They claim to inspire each other, whatever that means,” Misha explains. 

“Good guy?”

“I like him, yes. He’s very funny, kind of quiet, a good compliment to Rich. He’s hired Matt as his personal life coach, so maybe he doesn’t always exhibit the best judgment, but he’s good.”

Jensen chuckles because, of course, Matt is a life coach now. Jensen doesn’t know him well, but well enough to know that it makes perfect sense. Casting his glance around the crew assembled, he points to another trio in the sand. “Who’s that?”

Misha squints against the setting sun and looks a bit confused. “I’d think you’d recognize the guy you dated for three years, but that is Jared.”

“I know who Jared is, jackass,” Jensen reminds him. “And we didn’t date.” They hooked up. Okay, they hooked up _a lot_ , but it wasn’t a relationship in the strictest sense of the word. “I meant the woman who isn’t Kim.”

“Ah, yes,” Misha acknowledges. “That’s Felicia. She is, or was, I guess? She’s Gil’s girlfriend.”

Jensen nods and takes another drink as he watches her lean into Kim slightly, laughing softly at something Jared is saying. He can’t imagine how difficult this must be for her. He also feels another stab of guilt that he didn’t even know Gil had a girlfriend, let alone how to recognize her in a very small crowd.

After allowing him another moment of silent introspection, Misha slaps Jensen’s back hard enough that Jensen chokes on the beer he’s attempting to swallow. “Alright, c’mon. Let’s celebrate life, shall we?”

*  
It’s weird, to say the least.

Jensen wasn’t expecting a rip-roaring good time - it _is_ a funeral after all - but he thought it might feel a bit more somber than it has been. He’s not happy, not exactly, but catching up with his old friends has been a nice reminder of who he was back then, back before Hollywood introduced him to who he is now.

Being a working actor, one with his own television series now, is amazing. It’s all Jensen has ever really wanted for himself, at least professionally, but it has altered his life in ways he couldn’t imagine. It’s changed his relationships with these people for sure, these people that he spent what he thought were the best four years of his life with, people he thought would be an uncompromising part of his landscape forever.

While he makes good money - better than good, obscene really - it never seems to make Jensen’s time any more affordable. Just a few quiet moments in this early morning, staring out over the Gulf from this vacation home, seems like a luxury he’s not allowed himself in far too long. The circumstances are shit, no doubt, but the decision to trek back home for this weekend was one of the best choices he’s made in a long time.

“Wow,” a familiar voice says, followed by a low whistle.

Jensen smiles into his coffee and turns from the kitchen window to find the only other person in the house who could possibly be up as early as Jensen is, the only one who wouldn’t be stupidly hungover after the debauchery of last night, smiling back at him.

He hasn’t seen Jared in years, nearly nine of them. Jared, who has filled out in ways Jensen never imagined he would, so broad and long and happy with the life he’s built for himself up the road in Austin.

“Wow yourself,” he finally says back, eyes blatantly sweeping Jared from head to toe. It’s nothing new between them, Jensen figures, this kind of open flirtation.

Jared just smirks, leans his shoulder against the door frame, and crosses his corded arms over his massive chest. “I can’t decide if you look super hot or super creepy right now.” Before Jensen can defend himself, Jared laughs under his breath. “I meant ‘ _wow, someone is awake earlier than I am_ ’ not ‘ _wow, I really wanna suck your dick through your shorts right now._ ’”

Being as Jensen can still vividly remember Jared doing just that, ages and a lifetime ago, it conjures a pretty clear image in Jensen’s mind, one that he absolutely does not need at five thirty in the morning.

He clears his throat and takes another drink before he shakes his head and says, “Maybe that’s not what I meant, either. Maybe you’re projecting, Padalecki,” as easily as he ever said anything to Jared back then.

“Might be,” Jared agrees. “Things probably haven’t changed that much.”

He’s always been so comfortable in his own skin, Jared has, and it’s one of the things that drew Jensen to him despite his best efforts to stay the fuck away back in college. It’s not that everything comes easy to Jared, just that he makes it look that way.

When Jensen doesn’t respond, too lost in his own memories of who Jared was and how it makes perfect sense against who he is now, Jared adds, “Other than being a morning person, I guess. That’s new.”

“That’s television,” Jensen corrects, thankful for the out. Sure, he started flirting with Jared, but that has the potential to escalate very quickly in their extensive personal history. He figures no one needs to come down to breakfast and see just how quickly. “New season starts filming in a few weeks. If I don’t start training myself for early call times now, I’ll never make it.”

“How very responsible of you,” Jared says, condescending grin firmly in place. He finally pushes off the door, walks to the refrigerator, and pulls a bottle of water out before pushing his shaggy hair from his face and declaring, “I’m going for a run. You’re welcome to join me, if you’ve developed an affinity for anything remotely healthy in the last decade.”

Though Jensen laughs, he asks, “Have you always been such a smart ass? What did I ever see in you?” He’d like to tell Jared where he can shove is morning run, but he’s already moving toward the door.

“So many dick jokes, so little time.”

“Shut up,” Jensen fires back because he’s nothing if not quick on the draw with his comebacks. “Give me two minutes to grab my shoes.”

*

While it’s nice to have some time alone with one of the few people Jensen is absolutely, positively certain he’s been in actual love with in his life, conversation is difficult while running along the deserted beach. He does keep himself in reasonable shape, has to for work and also because aging is a thing he never fathomed it would be ten years ago, but it’s not exactly ‘running on the beach’ shape.

Once they’ve started back toward the house, walking now to catch their breath and slow their hearts, Jared asks, “So how’ve you been, man? It feels like it’s been forever.”

Eight years and nine months is how long it’s been. Jensen knows because the last time they saw each other, the last time they stood this close, Jensen had just said ‘I do’ to a beautiful woman with dark, mysterious eyes and flexibility he’s yet to find in anyone else, male or female.

“I’m alright,” he says honestly. He wasn’t for awhile there, but he is now and that’s better than most people can probably say. “I can’t complain or anything. How are _you_? The world of journalism treating you well?”

Nodding, Jared takes a long drink of his water before turning it over to Jensen. “It’s good. The paper’s small enough that I don’t feel like I’m constantly under the microscope, but I get to tell interesting stories and meet cool people, so yeah. It’s good.”

“Yeah?” Jensen asks after a drink of his own. “Better than being the next Anderson Cooper even?”

He remembers late nights pressed tight to Jared’s side, dreaming of a future where Jensen was a gigantic movie star while Jared was winning awards as a television news anchor or, at the very least, a well-respected field reporter. He never wanted the fame, Jared didn’t, but he wanted to be influential all the same.

“I don’t know, man. It started out as paying my dues, working in a smaller market to gain experience and move up, but somewhere along the way I found my niche, I guess. Leaving Texas never felt right to me, you know that, and Austin is great. I have everything I need there. Everything I want really.”

“Boyfriend included in that?” Jensen asks before he can tell himself not to. 

They’ve slowed considerably now, meandering as the house comes into view, still far enough to be a speck in the distance but close enough to keep deep conversation at bay. It’s probably not the right time to start asking personal questions, but they were the very best friends once upon a time. When isn’t the right time for personal questions?

“You’re not even trying to be subtle, are you?” Jared teases.

Jensen watches the flush blooming in Jared’s neck and down his chest. It could be the exertion from running, probably is honestly, but Jensen can’t help thinking that maybe it has something to do with him, with memories that he’s not having alone here.

“Direct approach usually works better for me,” he brags with a bravado that is definitely less than genuine and Jared knows it, if his raised eyebrow is anything to go by.

Thankfully he lets it go, shaking his head a bit as he takes another drink. The long line of his throat is distracting as he swallows before answering. “No boyfriend. I’ve been busy, between work and a few other things I’ve got going on. Hook ups, I can make time for those obviously, but an actual relationship takes more work than I’m willing to put in, I guess.”

Jensen nods in agreement. “I hear ya,” he says. “I mean, I’m not as far in the closet as I was back when we were,” he stop because, even after all this time, he’s not entirely sure how to label what they were. “I just haven’t met anyone else.”

The thing about dating in Hollywood is that it’s a bit of a hassle, in Jensen’s experience. People think they have a right to know things he doesn’t want them to know or care to share with them. He doesn’t mind it so much when the person is worth it but he hasn’t really met anyone like that in a long time.

When he says as much, Jared cuts straight to the heart of the matter by asking, “Is that what happened with Isabella?”

“I was never really sure of myself with her, or about myself maybe, so I was living half confused and half terrified all the time,” he explains, though it’s still hard to put their demise into words. “She finally got bored with the process. There just came a time when neither of us could be bothered to pretend it was working anymore.”

Weirdly, or maybe tellingly so, Jensen doesn’t think about his ex-wife all that often. He loved her once upon a time, but they were never really _friends_ and their break was so clean, it was damn near surgical. It was an adjustment, getting used to living alone again, but after two years, he doesn’t actually miss her anymore.

“That is, by far, the saddest ending to a love story I have ever heard,” Jared teases when Jensen tells him that bit. “But then I guess there’d be no need for either of our jobs if everybody got their happily-ever-after, would there?”

They’re closer to the house now, able to see the lights shining from the windows where the others are beginning to awaken and start their days.

When Jensen doesn’t respond, Jared sighs heavily. “So I bought a bar back in Austin.”

Jensen stops short, can feel his mouth gaping as he automatically reaches for Jared’s forearm to stop him as well. “Dude, that is worlds more interesting than the demise of my marriage, you idiot.” When Jared just shrugs, Jensen pinches him until he squirms and then asks, “What brought that on?”

“I think it’s been in the back of my mind for awhile,” Jared admits, laughing to himself as they resume their slow walk toward the house. “I don’t know. It’s in the very early stages right now, still planning mostly, but you know how much I love a good sports bar.”

Having spent many a late night pressed thigh to thigh in a booth with Jared and their friends while they watched A&M football and basketball games with hundreds of their classmates, Jensen knows exactly how much Jared loves a good sports bar. He won’t forget that if he lives to be a hundred and fifty, he doesn’t think.

“I love ‘em, but I hate that culture, ya know? The casually ignorant hate speech from asshole dude-bros while some waitress is forced to shove her tits in my face along with my chicken wings. Man, it got to me. So we’re trying to figure out if we can make a more all-inclusive kind of space, if that will fly. I think it will, but we’ll see if we can make a run of it.”

It sounds perfect, like exactly the kind of place Jensen could hang out and be himself without fear of being the least bit uncomfortable. He suspects there are plenty of people in Austin who will love that kind of environment, knows as sure as he’s standing here with Jared again, that it’s going to be successful.

“That sounds really fucking great, Jared,” he finally says, and Jared’s responding grin is so bright, so proud and pleased, that Jensen gets lost in it for a moment.

“Great enough to make a celebrity appearance at our grand opening?” He clears his throat and quickly adds, “Could be years, at the rate we’re going, so don’t clear your calendar just yet.”

Jensen doesn’t hesitate to nod. “Of course. You tell me when and I’m there. No questions asked.”

The truth apparently remains that Jensen will whole-heartedly drop everything if Jared only asks him to do so. Maybe that means something and maybe it doesn’t matter at all.

*

They finally make it back to the house, only to find the Kim sitting on the porch, staring at the ocean with a despondent look in her eyes. Jensen doesn’t know her well - she met and married Briana after they’d graduated and Jensen had already moved to Los Angeles - but she seems like a super cool lady. They stayed with Jensen once while Briana was recording a new album on the coast but Jensen struggles to remember that visit clearly as he spent most of the weekend being drunk under the table by Kim.

It’s understandable that she’s quiet this time, being as her home has been invaded by a bunch of strangers, people with whom her wife shares a history she wasn’t around to experience.

“You get kicked out of your own house already?” Jared asks, leaning against the porch railing across from Kim.

Kim smiles slightly when she says, “Nah. Just needed a minute to catch my breath.”

“It must be weird, having your space disrupted like this,” Jensen commiserates. “Especially under these circumstances.”

“I’m glad you could all be here, though,” Kim assures him. “It’s been nice to put faces with all of the names Bri’s always talking about.”

“You alright, Sweetheart?” Jared asks, reaching a foot out to nudge at Kim’s bare one. “Seem a little tense.”

Jensen had forgotten until just now that Jared sees some of their old friends - probably all of them - more than Jensen does.

“No, I’m fine,” Kim says with a definitive nod and, even though Jensen doesn’t really know her well, he knows she’s lying. He wonders if Kim wouldn’t be more likely to talk to Jared if Jensen wasn’t standing right here.

“I’m going to grab a coffee,” he announces. “Jared, you want one?”

Jared nods. “Thanks, man.”

“Oh, I can get that for you,” Kim says with a distracted shake of her head, on autopilot.

Jensen waves her off. “It’s fine. I’ve got it. Do you want anything while I’m inside?”

Kim declines with a sardonic chuckle but Jared asks, “Can you get me sausage? If Misha’s cooking.”

Jensen sees through it, though. “Get you one of everything, got it.” The smile they share feels incredibly private and knowing, intimate.

*  
Inside the house, Misha is standing at the stove while Briana stares blankly at the coffee pot.

“Morning, Beautiful,” Jensen greets, resting his hand on her back as he reaches over her head for a couple of coffee cup from the cupboard he explored earlier this morning. “You alright?”

Blinking as she comes out of her trance, Briana mumbles, “Yeah, I’m,” and then stops, her voice breaking. She scrubs her hand over he face and gives Jensen a watery smile. “Sorry, the emotion is still sneaking up on me a little.”

“Of course,” Jensen says, pressing a familiar kiss to the side of her head. “Can I get you anything?”

Her smile is grateful this time. “I’m good but thank you. And thank you for coming, Jensen. I know this is your time off.”

“Bri,” he interrupts. “Of course I was going to be here.” 

Has he really been so absent that his friends don’t even expect him to show up when he absolutely should be around? Jesus, he needs to work on that.

“I just still can’t believe it, ya know?” she asks, gripping her coffee cup like a security blanket of sorts. “It’s like, I just keep imagining him singing along with the radio in the car, drumming his hands on the wheel like he used to do, remember?” She shakes her head, knuckles white against the handle of the mug. “That voice. My god, Jensen, do you remember that voice?”

Jensen is sure that anyone who ever heard Gil sing remembers that voice. It was, aside from his perfect hair and charming smile, his most memorable quality. “Of course I remember,” he agrees, his heart aching when the tears flood her eyes again.

“It was just so. He was so.” Her voice breaks again, her shoulders folding forward as she sniffles and hiccups on another round of emotion. “Fuck everything, I want to get a handle on this. I fucking hate this.”

“Hey, come here,” he says, pulling her into a tight hug and pressing his cheek to the side of her head. He doesn’t know what else to say, has never been great at words that weren’t scripted for him.

He’s stroking her back and muttering comforting nonsense when the whispered whoosh of slippers on hardwood cuts through the room.

Felicia seems fine, from what Jensen saw last night. She’s younger than the rest of them and more quiet by a wide margin, but Jensen assumes that’s due to the fact that she’s the only one around here who has never met any of them. Apparently Gil hadn’t brought her around yet, but she seems to sit pleasantly on the outskirts of the conversations, looking a bit lost. Jensen wonders if being here, surrounded by people who loved and knew Gil, is helping her to heal, even just a bit.

She tucks her hair behind her ear, gives a shy wave, and hovers close to the doorway. “Morning,” she greets awkwardly.

“Morning,” Jensen answers automatically. “Did you want some coffee?”

Felicia nods. “Thank you. I’m just gonna,” she trails off and makes her way to the table in the breakfast nook, tucking herself into the bench seat and hugging her robe to herself.

“There’s food, too,” Jensen says after he’s delivered her coffee. “Misha’s always happy to make more.”

“And Jensen’s always happy to speak for him,” Richard pipes in, making his way into the room and flopping down at the table next to Felicia.

“Where’s your posse?” Jensen teases with a roll of his eyes, taking the cup of coffee Briana’s already prepared for Richard and delivering it to the table.

Richard waves his hand, blinking sleep from his eyes. “Meditating on the beach,” he explains flippantly. “Kumbaya-ing with nature or whatever other mumbo jumbo Matt’s into at the moment.”

There’s nothing bitter in the words, no unkindness. If anything, he seems fond as he stirs milk into his coffee and lets his gaze stray to the window, where absolutely nothing is visible on the beach.

Though he nods in understanding, Jensen turns his attention back to Felicia. “Did you want food? Misha may not be good at much, but he can cook.”

“Fuck off,” Misha fires back and Felicia laughs, capturing his attention. “Did you want eggs?”

She nods and tucks her hair again, bringing her coffee to her lips. “Sure. Thank you.”

They settle into a rhythm, filling plates and passing them around while Briana stands idly in the background, still staring at the porch and trying to collect herself.

“I’m going to need a few more sausage links, Mish. For Jared,” Jensen tells him, motioning to the plate already piled high with eggs, bacon strips, biscuits, and fruit.

“You tell Jared he can make his own fucking sausage links. There’s not enough time in the world to make enough food to fill his pit of a stomach,” Misha answers dryly, though he’s already throwing a few more links into the pan.

Jensen holds the plate, chuckling a bit as he says, “I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

“He won’t,” Misha disagrees. “He will love them and eat forty of them, but then he will text me pictures of the shit he takes in two hours along with a message of how much worse they are coming out than they were going in. He’s predictable, Jared is and, for a writer, not very creative.”

Though Jensen was the one to bring Misha into their group, the rivalry Jared lovingly struck with him has always been the highlight of their friendship for Jensen. “But he’s Jared, man,” Jensen reminds him. “You gotta love him, inappropriate pictures of his taint and all.”

Misha shakes his head, but it’s Richard who says, “No, _you_ have to love him because you never learned how not to,” and isn’t that just the truth? “I assure you that if he ever holds you down and farts on your head, or burrows his long, alien toes into your ball sack, you will figure it out, though.”

“Y’all have a much kinkier relationship than I thought,” Jensen says, winking at Richard and nudging Misha’s shoulder before grabbing the plate with the steaming sausage links. “Thanks, Mish.”

Jared is sitting alone on the porch swing when Jensen comes back out and hands him his full plate, taking his own to the railing and leaning as he bites into a crispy strip of bacon. “Misha says you’re welcome, and also a lot of other things I’m not willing to repeat,” he says, smiling in spite of himself when Jared barks a joyful laugh. “Where’s Kim?”

“Went for a walk,”Jared says around a mouthful of egg. “Needed to clear her head a little.”

“Everything okay there? I mean, it must be hard on her to see Briana taking this whole thing as hard as she is.”

Huffing a short laugh, Jared shrugs. “It’s just stirring up a lot of old shit is all. You knew Briana and Gil had a thing a few years ago, right?”

“What?” Jensen asks, nearly choking on his melon chunk.

“I never remember who knew and who didn’t,” Jared says, as though he hasn’t just dropped a hell of a bomb on Jensen. “Bri and Kim both kind of struggled to find their footing after they got married. I mean, you remember what Bri was like back then, life of the party with new interests every three weeks, never settling down with anyone for very long?” He waits for Jensen to nod before he goes on. “Kim was kind of the same way when they got together, birds of a feather and all that, and they were crazy in love but a full time commitment wasn’t exactly easy for either of them, I don’t think.”

While he assumed Briana had changed since college - marriage wasn’t even a word she could say without shuddering back then - he figured she’d been ready for it when it happened. The couple he’s seen this weekend seems somber, but very much in love and comfortable together in this giant vacation home they’ve purchased together, this life they’ve built.

“Anyway,” Jared says after a few more bites of his breakfast. “We were all hanging out together a lot back then, me and Gil and Kim and Bri. Sometimes a few other people would tag along, but it was basic stuff, ya know? Jet skis at the lake on weekends, beer and football during the season. I guess Gil and Bri started fooling around for awhile.”

“Jesus,” is all Jensen can think to say. He tries to remember a time when Gil and Briana showed any interest in each other back in school, but nothing jumps immediately to mind.

“Bri spent a couple of weeks on my couch, just trying to get her head together and figure out what she wanted, but she finally decided that she wanted to work things out with Kim,” Jared explains. “I mean, I think it kind of forced them to look at why they were together and actually ended up making them better in the long run? If that’s even a thing that is possible.”

Jensen knows that there are couples who survive affairs, logically he knows that, but he can’t imagine he’d have been able to stay with Isabella if she’d ever stepped out on him. Then again, he wasn’t exactly interested in working that hard on their marriage so maybe it’s nothing like this situation at all.

As if he can read Jensen’s mind, Jared says, “it’s only been in the last year that they’ve really seemed to be on the right track, but they’ve been working really hard at it. Gil used to come around sometimes, but I’m not sure he ever forgave himself, even after Kim forgave him. It’s just fucked up all around, man.”

Jensen is just about to agree when a couple of voices raise, shouting over each other, growing louder when the door opens and fading when it slams shut.

“How completely tacky am I going to look if I just walk back in there and punch them both in the mouth?” Danneel asks, digging a cigarette out of the pack in her pocket, catching it between her lips before holding it to the light Genevieve has flicked at her side. 

Even in jeans and an old A&M sweatshirt, Danneel looks more put together and beautiful than most of the actresses Jensen knows. She’s always been that girl for him, the one who could irritate him to no end and still make him laugh like nobody else.

“What’s going on?” Jared asks as Danneel flops onto the swing at his side, her eyes tracking Genevieve until she sidles up to Jensen and bumps him with a shoulder. He tucks her into his side and then turns his attention back to Danneel.

With a roll of her eyes, Danneel takes a long drag of her cigarette and turns to blow a plume before she answers. “Bri and Felicia are finally having it out over who loved him more.”

“Fuck,” Jensen breathes, resting his cheek against the top of Genevieve’s head.

“It’s less about that and more about how Briana thinks Felicia didn’t love him enough since she’s not crying every three minutes and Felicia thinks Briana’s using her over-dramatized grief for attention,” Genevieve explains, shifting until her back rests against Jensen’s side, her hand clasping his and pulling it around her neck. “Apparently, Briana hasn’t even spoken to Gil in a couple of years so who is she to act like her best friend died? Or so Felicia says.”

Jensen wonders if they know about the affair, but he doesn’t ask. It’s not important right now anyway.

Jared sets his plate on the small, wicker table beside the swing and wipes his hands down his shorts, distracting Jensen enough that he doesn’t notice Danneel considering him until she asks, “How’re you doing, Hollywood?”

“I’m alright,” he answers automatically, shrugging just enough to jostle Genevieve. “How’s the justice system these days?” He’s often thought that he would rather stick a fork in his eye than ever go up against Danneel in a courtroom. Her acquittal rate as a public defender was legendary last he heard..

“Wouldn’t know. Gave it up last year and started selling real estate instead.”

“What the fuck for?” Jensen asks.

“High commission, shorter hours, more time at home,” she explains, sharing an intimate smile with Genevieve before she adds, “Biological clock started ticking really fucking loudly, so I’ve started making a few changes.” She turns her attention to Jared and asks, “How do you feel about being a father?”

Jared, who has been picking at the fruit left on Jensen’s plate, freezes and looks over at Danneel. “I’m sorry, what?”

Jensen can feel Genevieve giggling against him but Danneel is undeterred. “We’ve looked into adoption, could still go that route, but I really want the entire experience, I think. Being pregnant, bringing a child into the world through my own body, I want that. So now I’m considering in vitro. Or we could try it the old fashioned way, I suppose,” she adds with a wink.

Jensen almost laughs because he has never, not in all the years he’s known Jared, ever seen him looking so completely baffled.

“You do remember how incredibly gay I have been since the day you met me?” Jared finally asks when he collects his thoughts.

Without hesitation, Danneel blinks. “Do you know incredibly irrelevant that is to what I’m asking you?”

“I. I can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”

“Oh, she’s serious,” Genevieve assures him, laughing outright now.

Danneel is, as ever, nonplussed. “Of course I am.” She trails a finger over Jared’s cheekbone, considering him in a rather clinical fashion. “You have traditionally attractive features and you’re tall, reasonably intelligent, and moderately athletic. You’re the closest thing to the total package we have yet to find.”

“Thank you?” Jared asks, ducking away from her touch.

“I think you could produce a good kid for us.”

Jared is firm, certain when he says, “I do not want to have a child with you.”

Danneel raises an eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely positive?” she asks, casting another glance toward Genevieve without waiting to gauge her reaction. 

This time, Jensen doesn’t hide his laughter, either. Jared crosses his arms over his chest and visibly strengthens his resolve. “I had my dick sucked in an alley behind a club by a beautiful blond twink two days before I came here and I fucking loved it. I am absolutely positive that a child would hinder that and many of my other favorite activities, so yes. I am sure that I don’t want to father your child.” Ever the polite one, he adds, “Thanks for thinking of me, though.”

“Men can still get their dicks sucked after spawning, I would imagine,” Danneel says, but she’s already resigning herself to Jared’s rejection.

Something occurs to Jensen then. “Why didn’t you ask me?” It makes more sense than Jared, actually.

“You?” Danneel asks, as though this is the dumbest thing Jensen has ever said out loud. She looks at Genevieve, incredulous, but Jensen can’t see the face she makes in return. “Why on Earth would we ask you?”

“I’m all those things Jared is,” Jensen insists, offended now. “Plus, I wouldn’t mind actually having a kid at some point.” He’d be a damn good dad, thank you very much.

“We aren’t looking for an actual active father, though, are we?” She looks at Genevieve again and, this time, Jensen feels her shaking her head against him. “And even if we were, you live in California. That’s a bit logistically inconvenient for us.”

“Oh, well if it’s logistically inconvenient,” he shoots back, sarcasm finding its way to the surface of Jensen’s words.

“Plus, your ears,” Genevieve says, tipping her head to gaze up at Jensen in consideration.

“What’s wrong with my ears?”

“What about Matt?” Jared suggests suddenly.

Danneel snorts. “Matt? That’s an even dumber idea than Jensen doing it.”

“I am standing right here!” Jensen raises his hand to feel his ears. “And what the fuck is wrong with my ears?”

“Nothing is wrong with your ears, Dumbo, relax,” Jared tells him. Which, rude. To Danneel, Jared says, “I’m just saying that if you’re looking for a candidate this weekend, your only other options are Rich and Rob, who are about as neurotic and codependent as anyone I’ve ever met, Misha, and Matt.”

“Misha won’t work,” Danneel declares immediately.

Off of a deep breath, Genevive adds, “And it might be a bit awkward to ask the only man whose dick I’ve ever sucked if he’s willing to donate sperm for my girlfriend and I to have a baby together.” She pulls away from Jensen enough to lean beside him and cross her arms over her stomach.

“You sucked Matt’s dick?” Jensen asks, feeling more and more out of the loop with every person he reconnects with this weekend.

Genevieve has the decency to look a little guilty when she shrugs and says, “I was curious. He’s hot and hetero.”

Before Jensen can ask anymore questions or conjure up an image he has absolutely no interest in visualizing, Jared asks, “What’s wrong with Misha?”

“Are his ears unacceptable, too?” Jensen chips in, smiling when Genevieve laughs.

Danneel just waves her hand and says, “He has no passion.” When Jensen snorts, Danneel narrows her eyes. “This is the only human child I will ever grow inside my body, a kid that we will be responsible for raising, a family that I am starting with the absolute love of my life. I’m allowed to be picky. It’s perfectly fine that I don’t want to reproduce with a man who still hosts the same talk radio show he’s hosted since before we even started college, who still says he’s trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up.”

“He’s a good man,” Jensen counters, unsure of why he’s fighting to defend Misha when they all four know damn well he would never be the right donor for Genevieve and Danneel’s baby project. Danneel just brings something out in him. Come to think of it, that’s probably why she was such a good attorney.

“He _is_ a good guy. No one is saying that he isn’t,” Genevieve agrees. “It takes some people longer than others to find their passion in life and that is fine, of course it is. We just don’t want him fathering our child.”

Jared’s smile, when he turns it on Jensen, is beautifully blinding. It’s two parts ‘ _Can you believe these two_?’ and one part ‘ _We are damn lucky to know these two_.’

“Alright,” Danneel says, standing and running her hands over her jeans, reaching a hand out for Genevieve. “We need to take a shower and consider the options you have presented.”

Jensen waits until they’ve gone back into the house to slip onto the swing beside Jared. He’s still shaking his head at the absurdity of it all. “Has she always been like that?” he asks.

With wide eyes, Jared holds his hands up. “Don’t ask me. You dated her.”

One time. He went out with Danneel one time to make her ex jealous. It wasn’t a thing. “Why do I feel like we’re the only sane ones left in this house?” he asks instead of pointing that out.

The look Jared gives him is skeptical at best. “I’m using my meager life’s savings to open a gay sports bar and you’re a fucking professional actor.”

“I direct sometimes, too.”

“Oh, pardon me, Fancy Pants.”

“Fancy Pants?” he asks, his voice cracking with his laughter.

“Just popped into my head,” Jared says with a shrug and an affectionate smile.

It’s unfortunate, Jensen thinks, that they came together for this weekend this way. The weather is beautiful this morning, warm without being humid, a perfect, salty breeze blowing in off the Gulf, and a comfortable silence settling between them. Why hasn’t he bothered to try a little harder, to see if they could make this happen before now?

The truth is he knows why. He wasn’t ready or he wasn’t sure or he had convinced himself that Jared didn’t want the same thing. Maybe he still doesn’t, but Jensen knows that he wouldn’t have been ready to sit out here in the open, flirting with Jared without a care for who might step onto the porch and see them together before now. Most of their friends knew that they were sleeping together in college, whether they mentioned it or not. Jensen was happy to pretend it was just a fling, one that lasted three years and developed into one of the best friendships he’s ever known, but he told himself it was nothing.

For the first time in years, he almost wishes that someone would come along and snap a picture, a paparazzi hiding in a bush somewhere even, that the smile he knows must be obvious on his face could be released to the entire world. He wouldn’t mind the whole of the internet seeing him with this guy. And isn’t that just a revelation?

*

Though he fears the entire day will be tense and awful, it seems that the fight between Briana and Felicia was exactly what they needed to clear the air and move forward. They watch a baseball game together in the afternoon, everyone wearing team tees and stupid beer helmets that Richard brought for solidarity.

Jensen and Felicia join Misha in the kitchen to make a family dinner, all of Gil’s favorites featured to mouth-watering perfection. Jared volunteers to clean up after, happy to have Genevieve’s and Rob’s help while Kim and Danneel make a beer run. Richard regales Matt and Briana with tales of the good ole days, tales Briana insists he’s _mis-remembering_ with squeals of the old laughter Jensen is used to hearing from her.

It’s a really lovely evening, one that Jensen is once again thinking he should not have waited so long, absolutely shouldn’t have needed such tragic circumstances, to have.

It’s a thought he can’t shake long after everyone else has already turned in for the night. He walked around the house a few times but now he’s just standing in the side yard, staring at nothing.

He hears a low whistle, followed by, “You come here often?”

He startles a bit when Jared comes to a stop beside him but he smiles wistfully. “What’re you doin’ up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Jared answers, his broad shoulder brushing against Jensen’s. “House feels too quiet. It’s weird.”

Apropos of nothing, Jensen says, “We’re barely in our thirties, man. Gil was barely in his thirties. I mean, I know it happens, bull shit happens no matter how old you are. I know that. It just feels so wrong somehow.”

“It was a car accident,” Jared reminds Jensen, as though he’s somehow forgotten that detail. “Not exactly natural causes.”

“He called me. About a month ago, Gil called me and asked if I still had that place in Austin that my grandmother left me. He wanted to crash there. Left it all in a voicemail.”

Turning toward Jensen, Jared asks, “Do you still have that place?”

“Yeah,” Jensen answers, eyes fixed on a knot in a nearby tree. “But I got busy and forgot to call him back.”

“It happens, Jensen,” Jared starts.

But Jensen turns and shakes his head, realizing only now just how close they’re standing out here in the darkness. “I never forget to call my agent back.” When Jared opens his mouth, Jensen lays a hand on his arm and says, “I’m not beating myself up about it, really. I know it’s not my fault that he’s dead, but it’s just fucked up. Hindsight is really, really fucked up.”

“I think we probably all have regrets,” Jared says, his voice low now, barely a whisper as his eyes dart to Jensen’s mouth quickly. 

Regrets. Like refusing to get over his own fears and be with Jared when he had a chance. “Do yours ever make you want to do something stupid and reckless?”

Jared doesn’t ask what he means, but he holds on to Jensen’s hip when Jensen pulls him close and presses their mouths together in a long overdue kiss.

As he suspected earlier, things escalate quickly. It’s seems like only a second between wrapping his arms tightly around Jared’s massive shoulders and Jared’s back being pressed against the side of the house as Jensen sinks to his knees and reaches for his belt.

With a smirk, he looks up to find Jared’s hooded eyes staring back in the faint glow of the moon. “I hear you like getting your dick sucked outside,” he teases, referring back to Jared’s statement about the twink in the alley, a statement Jensen knows he shouldn’t dwell on or feel jealous about, but one he can’t help wanting to better now.

Jared barks a laugh that sounds too loud in the night, one that seems to reach the ocean and echo back. “You’re an idiot,” he declares, sliding his fingers through Jensen’s hair and gripping tightly to the back of his neck. “I mean, you’re not wrong, but you’re still an idiot.”

The look they share is far too long, or perhaps holds too much longing, for this to be quick and dirty and meaningless. Jensen suspects it will never be meaningless with Jared, though he figures he shouldn’t think on that for too long or Jared will get bored and head inside. He can’t imagine anything worse at the moment.

As it turns out, Jared still can’t keep his massive mouth shut when he’s getting off and Jensen would be lying if he said he didn’t like hearing the shouts and the incomprehensible filth that comes out of his mouth. If he’s completely honest, Jensen will admit that he’s no quieter when Jared shoves him against the wall and fingers him like he never used to do in college, like it’s the post grad specialty Jensen didn’t know Jared was pursuing.

It’s a blur, a really fantastically orgasmic blur, and later it vaguely occurs to Jensen that he’s lying naked on the lawn of a friend’s house, fingers weaving in and out of his ex’s hand while they both fight to catch their breath. There is absolutely grass stuck to parts of his body that will annoy him later but, for now, he can’t bring himself to care. He can’t actually bring himself to _move_.

“What time’s your flight?” Jared asks, voice wrecked in a way that gives Jensen a thrill of pride.

“Supposed to be later. You takin’ off early?”

He feels Jared’s fingers brushing over the back of his hand. “I could hang around for a minute,” he muses. “We should head inside eventually,” he adds, rolling his head along the grass.

Jensen agrees but when he turns to say as much, Jared’s ridiculous hair and flushed face in the moonlight catch him off guard. “In a minute,” is all he can manage to get out.

*

They sleep longer on Sunday morning than they did the day before, but Jared still wants to run. Jensen isn’t sure how his legs are still moving but it’s an invigorating way to start the day, to be sure.

By the time they get back to the house, Misha is at the stove again, flipping pancakes and frying potatoes, hips moving in a weird dance completely devoid of anything resembling rhythm.

“Mmm, starch,” Jared says with virtually the same euphoric face he had last night in the yard. “Are those for me?” he asks, reaching over Misha’s shoulder and aiming his finger toward the pan.

He earns a swat from the metal spatula in response. “Go away,” he says, fighting a grin.

“But I just want to love you,” Jared insists, wrapping both arms and a leg around Misha while burying his sweaty face into the back of Misha’s neck.

“Get off me!” Misha shouts, stumbling backwards with the weight on his back.

Jensen turns away from the scene in favor of sitting opposite Felicia and Rob at the table. She’s sketching something into a napkin and humming to herself while Rob scribbles what appear to be serial killer notes onto his. They both startle a bit when Jensen says, Good morning, as though neither noticed the commotion Jared and Misha have been making.

“You guys alright?” Jensen asks them.

Rob beams and reaches for his coffee cup. “Great, thank you. It’s a beautiful morning.”

Though he hasn’t had much of a chance to talk with Rob - Rich never seems to let him get a word in but that’s honestly no different than Rich is with anyone - he seems like one of the good ones. He’s maybe a bit lost, deferring to Rich and Matt in most situations, cracking witty one liners under his breath like he’s happy just knowing that he’s funny instead of insisting that everyone else acknowledge it. Jensen finds that honorable.

The others begin filing into the kitchen, crowding around Misha at the stove and the coffee pot, quietly mumbling drowsy morning greetings as Jensen turns his attention back to Felicia.

“And you?” 

Her smile is pleasant and peaceful when she nods. “I think I will be,” is the best she can do, probably the best anyone could do under the circumstances. “I loved him and our time together was magical, but I’m thinking some people just weren’t meant to hang around this mortal plane as long as others. Who am I to say we didn’t get enough time together?”

“That’s a very healthy outlook.”

“Far too healthy for the likes of us,” Genevieve adds, leaning over Jensen for the sugar bowl sitting in the center of the table.

Felicia blushes a bit as she looks at her hands and then back up at each of them. “Oh, I’ll probably freak out at least fifty more times before I’m really okay, but for today, I’m good.”

Conversation devolves as Misha announces that breakfast is finished and everyone swarms him with plates out, filling up and dispersing. Kim and Briana suggest eating on the porch and Rob slips out of the his space to follow them, along with Richard and Matt, outside. Genevieve takes a loaded plate and two carefully balanced coffee cups up to her bedroom, where Danneel is exhausted from a ‘ _very long night_.’

“Pancakes?” Misha asks, sliding two plates onto the table before either Jensen or Felicia can decline.

Jensen wouldn’t have declined anyway. He’s not sure there’s much he loves more than a good pancake. Maybe pancakes with bacon, but that’s present, as well. “Thanks, Mish.”

“You’re welcome,” Misha answers, returning to the stove and speaking over his shoulder. “Felicia and I have been discussing that old house of yours in Austin.”

Everyone is so interested in that house lately and Jensen honestly can’t figure out why. It’s so old and broken down, completely unmaintained. His grandmother left it to him when she died but Jensen was already living in Los Angeles. He hasn’t really though of the place in years, not until Gil called him about it.

“We’d like to proposition you,” Misha says, then stops and turns when Jared snorts. “Though now that I’ve said it out loud, I think maybe I should rephrase that.”

Squeezing into the limited space at Jensen’s side, Jared immediately steals one of Jensen’s bacon strips even though there are four perfectly fine ones right there on his own plate. “Please don’t,” he says, mouth still working around the bacon. “I want to see his face when you proposition him.”

Jensen elbows him in the side. “Shut up,” he teases, staring a bit too long at the bruise he sucked into Jared’s neck last night. He shakes his head and blinks. “Eat your breakfast, you menace.”

Jared sticks his tongue out but it’s Felicia who responds. “It’s not a sexy proposition! Just, well, Gil mentioned that he remembered you saying the house had a lot of potential.”

“It does,” Jensen agrees. His grandparents raised his father in that house. He took Jared, Gil, Briana, and Genevieve there the last time he went, a year before they graduated. There’s history there, along with fantastic old architecture in that house. Unfortunately, that’s about all it has going for it anymore. “It’s pretty run down, though. I haven’t bothered doing anything with it.” 

“Which is why it’s the perfect project for Felicia and I. We want to renovate it for you,” Misha explains, sliding into the bench seat at her side.

“Right,” Felicia jumps in, more animated than she has been the entire weekend. “I’m very crafty. I love DIY and decorating and Misha loves working with wood.” Jared snorts again and Jensen jabs his arm with a fork. Felicia just smiles fondly at both of them. “We just thought fixing it up for you might be the thing we’re both looking for, the purpose we’ve each been searching for as of late.”

“What about your radio show?” Jared chimes in, fingers resting easily against Jensen’s thigh under the table.

Misha shakes his head. “I’ve been looking for an out from that for years, something I can throw myself into and actually care about. I want to love my work like the rest of you do and I’m excited about this like I don’t think I’ve ever been about anything. We already have tons of ideas. We talked about filming it and shopping it as a renovation reality show.”

While he’s not entirely sure about the show aspect, Jensen can’t see another downside. Even if they get bored after a couple of projects and give up, he can easily afford to have a professional finish it up. It wouldn’t hurt to have a place in Austin. “I hear there’s gonna be a pretty cool sports bar up there soon, so I’m going to have a reason to head home more often.”

He’s not imagining the hopeful note in Jared’s voice when his fingers tighten on Jensen’s leg. “Really?”

“You mean a reason other than Jared’s dick?” Misha asks, giving them a faux innocent look until Jensen and Jared both gape at the question. “Oh, you two were not quiet out there last night.”

“I haven’t said yes yet,” Jensen reminds him. He can’t help thinking that maybe this is Gil’s way of giving Jensen a second chance at answering that voicemail. “I mean, of course I’m going to, but I haven’t yet.” He winks at Felicia and reaches for his fork to finally dig into his breakfast. “We can work out the details later, but I’d love for you guys to work on it.”

Felicia is blinking her tears away as she drops her hand onto Jensen’s and says, “Thank you so much, Jensen. I means everything.”

He shrugs it off, doesn’t mention that it feels like the start of something bigger, and steals one Jared’s bacon strips with a dirty smirk and an exaggerated pout of his lips.

* 

After breakfast, they start an impromptu football game on the beach and Jensen ignores the fact that his time here is quickly ticking away. It’s easy to forget when Briana and Kim are trash talking each other and Misha is trying so hard yet failing so tremendously at every play he even attempts.

Jensen mans the grill for lunch, making sure that Jared is never too far away. No one mentions the way they orbit around each other, sharing furtive glances and intimate touches without thinking much about them. It’s almost as though they’re back in college again, but Jensen isn’t tense about it and Jared isn’t frustrated with him for it. It’s nice, nice enough that Jensen keeps thinking it wouldn’t be so bad if he had it more often.

*

Jensen needs to finish packing, but it’s difficult when Jared is all stretched out on the bed, staring at the ceiling and kicking his feet back and forth like a three-year-old. A really sexy, really distracting three … Wait, that sounds very wrong. He can’t even think straight now. That’s Jared’s fault, too.

“How hard is it? You put all the things you took out of the bag back into the bag and you’re done. You were here for three days. You didn’t buy anything. Packing shouldn’t take an hour,” Jared insists.

“Hey,” Danneel interrupts whatever witty comeback Jensen hasn’t thought of just yet. “We’re going to take Rich and Rob and Matt to the airport.”

While Jared is struggling to sit up, Jensen steps around his flailing feet to cross the room and wrap Danneel in a tight hug. “It was good to see you again, Danni,” he says.

She nods against his shoulder. “You, too, Hollywood. Don’t be a stranger for so long next time, okay?”

He nods in promise and steps back to give Jared some space as he wraps Danneel up and lifts her off the ground, laughing when she shrieks and smacks his chest. 

“Asshole,” she mutters, straightening her shirt when Jared finally returns her to her feet. “I shouldn’t even tell you that we talked to Matt about the baby last night. He’s open to the idea, so thank you for suggesting it.”

Jared’s eyes widen in surprise. “You talked to him already?”

She glares between them for a long moment, too long for either of them to miss it. “Well, someone was getting a very loud blow job outside our bedroom window last night, so we couldn’t really sleep.”

“Sorry,” Jensen says, feeling the flush rising in his chest and neck as she continues to stare at him.

Jared is not interested in helping, just rests his hands on his hips and proudly says, “I’m not. Not even a little bit.”

“Of course you’re not,” Danneel teases with a roll of her eyes. “It’s alright, though. I guess we’re all getting what we want, aren’t we?” To Jensen, she winks and says, “Seriously, don’t wait so long to come home.”

“You have my word,” Jensen promises and he really, really means it.

*

Felicia heads out when Genevieve and Danneel leave. Misha hangs around a little while longer, but then he’s gone as well. Kim and Briana say their good-byes then and head inside for a nap. Apparently, everyone in the house had trouble sleeping through the live porn on the lawn last night.

“And then there were two,” Jensen says, rather than dwelling on thoughts of last night, after they’ve watched Misha’s car drive out of sight.

Without preamble, Jared asks, “Did you mean what you said earlier? About spending more time in Austin?”

“I did.”

The thing is, Jensen loves his job. It keeps him busy and maybe that’s what he loves most about it, but he’s been thinking a lot this weekend about what he’s letting fall to the wayside because of it.

“I won’t get to come back all the time,” he warns, reaching for Jared’s belt loop without paying it much mind. “It’s not going to be every weekend or anything, at least not at first. You should know that.”

Jared rests his hands on Jensen’s waist. “I have a lot on my plate right now, too,” he reminds him. “I meant it the other day when I told you I don’t really have time for anything serious.”

Nodding as he looks out over the ocean beyond Jared’s shoulder, Jensen says, “I know. I said the same, but this weekend has been an eye-opener for me.”

“Yeah?” Jared asks, the corners of his lips tilting in amusement.

“C’mon, Jay, you and me? It’s always been inevitable, hasn’t it? I mean, we think we’ll wait until we have time for the personal stuff later, when we’re not working so hard or whatever, but we don’t know there _will_ be time later, do we?” He stops himself, doesn’t want to make it sound like he’s only saying this because they’ve lost a friend and he’s suddenly _what’s it all about?_ “I don’t want to put it off anymore. I’ve been waiting for someone who’s worth it, who I’m willing to work my schedule around, who I don’t care if everyone in the whole fucking world knows that I love.”

“And you’re saying I’m worth all that? You don’t even know me anymore, Jensen. We haven’t seen each other in almost ten years. What if we spend a couple more weekends together and decide we’re not M.F.E.O. anymore?”

Jared’s words are logical, grown up, certainly more mature. His eyes, though, are the same as they were all those years ago, back when he was looking to Jensen for a reason, begging him to make the entire world make sense, a bit hesitant to let himself get hurt again.

He sighs, takes a step back and considers his answer carefully before he says, “I don’t know, man. You might be right. Maybe it’s just nostalgia and we’re too different now. But we won’t know if we don’t try.”

Jared crosses his arms over his chest and then shifts his shoulders and tucks his hands in his pockets. “Man, I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to because fuck knows I want to believe that it could work. I know I still feel something for you. I just. We’re not twenty anymore.”

“Alright, so how about this. I have a couple of weeks until I have to be back in LA to start working. I was thinking maybe I would check out the old house in Austin before I turn Misha loose on it, take an inventory and see what actual state it’s in. If you have a couch I can crash on, we could make a start on figuring it out? If it’s not working for either of us, we’ll call it off. No harm, no foul.”

“That is a very smart plan, Mr. Ackles,” Jared says, reaching out for Jensen again, this time gripping his shoulders and tugging him until Jensen falls against his chest. “My couch is not very comfortable, I’m afraid, but my bed is pretty great, I’ve been told.”

Jensen leans into him and then pulls back, eyebrow raised. “And you accused me of bad pick up lines?”

“I blame you,” Jared shoots back.

Jensen would continue to tease him, but he’s too busy being kissed until he can't breathe.


End file.
